The Pansy Files
by NalaStormhunter
Summary: This is a series of ficlets following the developing relationship of Pansy Parkinson and Neville Longbottom.
1. You don't know me

Title: You don't know me

Pairings: Neville/Pansy

Notes: Harry Potter and all things related to that belong to JK Rowling. I just like to play in her world.

I sighed as I looked at the piles of homework I had to do before the last day of the Term. The last two weeks of any term here at Hogwarts usually had me wishing I knew a Ravenclaw or two to help me. I'm smart, but it took me time, especially with Potions and Arithmancy. And they were exactly the classes that always seemed to give the most homework. I—more than likely unwisely—chose to save those two classes for last, and began to work on my Transfiguration homework.

I had just dipped my quill in the ink to being the essay on Animal Transfiguration and the difficulties in changing one animal into another when the portrait swung open, and my heart skipped a beat. The handsome Malfoy had just walked into the room. My homework lay forgotten as he crossed the common room. If I hadn't known better, I would say he was heading in my direction in a way that said he was nervous about something.

But I did know better. I have been all but throwing myself at the boy since our first year, and he hadn't paid much attention to me at all, except as his friend. We were close, Draco and I, but not the way I wanted to be close. I am the keeper of his secrets, and oh, what secrets he has. Since our Second Year, he has been courting a...a i Gryffindor /i . Nobody knew of course. Just me, his Gryffindor girlfriend, and him.

Draco Malfoy sat down across from me, and ran a hand through his white blond hair. "Hey, Pansy, I've got huge favor to ask you."

I set my Quill aside, and smiled at him. "Hey, sure, you know you can ask me anything." After all, hadn't I been covering up who his true heart's desire was? Everyone at school assumed that I was the girl Draco fancied, and neither of us did anything to stop the rumours that flew from house to house.

He sighed in relief. "Great, I knew I could count on you, Pansy. See, Ginny didn't realise that the surprise I planned for her this year was going Public with our relationship, so she accepted an invitation to the dance from Longbottom. I asked her to tell him she changed her mind, but she's too kindhearted, my girl. So, we made a plan to meet at the dance. However, I need to save face, and escort a girl to the dance. So, wanna be that girl?" I must have looked resigned, because he added quickly, "Unless Blaise asked you. I know he fancies you."

i But Blaise wouldn't ask me out, you fool, because he thinks I'm your girl. /i "No, I don't think he has the courage to challenge you," I said, the implied implications he could understand. I sighed. I knew no one else would ask me, because he was my "boyfriend", so what choice did I have? I put on my best fake smile, and said, "Sure, I'll go with you." At least I would have some satisfaction of seeing the Weasley boys' faces when they realised their sister was dating a Slytherin. At least I would have that.

Draco's smile grew, and my heart lurched in agony as I knew what was coming, "You're the best, Pansy. I don't know what I'd do without a friend like you." With that, he got up, and headed over to Crabbe and Goyle, who were sitting in the chairs by the fire, eating as usual.

I packed up my homework, knowing that I would never be able to focus on it now. I didn't want to head to the the girls dormitories, because I knew Millicent was up there, and I knew the only reason she was my friend was because I was Draco's friend and confidant. I didn't have any real friends, besides Draco. The other girls followed me like Crabbe and Goyle followed Draco. I had the power and the leadership abilities that they didn't, so like any good Slytherin, they got in with those that can make them successful.

My only options then, were outside for a walk by the lake, or to the library and see if a change of scenery will allow me to do my homework. As our common room was in the dungeon, we had no windows, so I couldn't know the weather, but I could guess. It has been the same kind of weather for the past month, cold and wet. To the library it was.

The portrait swung open, and Blaise walked in. We smiled at each other as we passed. He fancied me? If he did, he did a good job of hiding it. Well, maybe after the Ball that will change, as it should be painfully obvious that Draco was NOT my boyfriend. I almost turned around and asked him what he really thought about me, but I had already agreed to go to the dance with Draco, and if there was one thing I hated, it was people who went back on their words. So I continued on out of the Slytherin Common Room, and made my way up the stairs towards the library.

It was early evening, just a few hours before supper, so the library was almost deserted, except for that mudblood, Granger. I made sure she didn't see me. I couldn't stand her anymore than she could stand me, and yet, there were times that I envied her so much. She never had to question whether Potter or Weasley were her friends, she breezed through her classes with wonderful grades, and because she was Gryffindor, the other students weren't afraid of her. I was surprised, homely as she was, that one of the boys hadn't asked her to the Ball. As she was crying into her book, I could only assume that they had not. I felt a twinge of sympathy, but I quickly squashed it. She was mudblood, and the Parkinson's did not mingle with mudbloods.

I sat down at a table as far away from Granger as I could. I once again started on my Transfiguration homework. It seemed that once I was away from Draco and the Common Room, I was able to concentrate on my homework, and I managed to finish the essay before curfew, and get a good start on my Arithmancy homework as well. I was packing up to make it back to the Common Room when the Durmstang Champion walked in and went straight to Granger.

I didn't consider myself nosy, but I was wondering what he had to discuss with her. So I took a little longer to pack my bag than I should, carefully listening to their conversation.

"Hermownninny," Krum began, butchering the mudblood's name, "I vas vondering vhat color of robes you vill be vearing to the Ball?"

"Oh, uhm," she said quickly, wiping at her eyes, "I bought a blue robe for the Ball. My mother said it would look wonderful on me. She said, it would bring out my eyes."

"Oh, it vill," He said, a strange hitch in his voice, "and I vill be the luckiest man at the ball, vith such a beautiful girl at my side."

I nearly dropped my bag in shock. Viktor Krum was taking i Granger /i to the Ball? He was taking a Mudblood? Did everyone have a true date to the dance but me? Well, me and Longbottom, I suppose, since he was escorting Ginny to the Ball. Even though he was a Gryffindor, I hoped that Ginny had the decency to tell Longbottom the reason she was going to the dance with him. It's going to be bad enough for him if he does know, but if he doesn't. Well, I'm glad that Draco was honest with me.

The next two weeks flew by, and I barely noticed that the Yule Ball was now only a few hours away. I sat in the Common Room, catching up on some much need leisure reading, when Tracy and Daphne came bolting in through the portrait. From the flush look on their faces and the dampness of their clothes, I assumed they had been participating in the snowball fight I heard about from Blaise earlier. They looked at me as if I were crazy. "Pansy," Tracy said, her sing song voice already grating, "what are you doing reading when we need to be getting ready for the Ball?"

I put my book down, "Davis, why would would I want to get ready now? The dance is hours away."

Daphne laughed at me, "Oh, the must be your first formal event. Don't you know that with make-up and hair and getting into the robes is an event in of itself?" She looked at me in the appraising look. Again, I know the only reason these two hang out with me is because I'm leader and I set the goals. I also knew that if I were not getting ready, they wouldn't either. It was a power I often exploited, because I had my own goals in mind. She also seemed to be forgetting how influential my own parents were, and how wealthy. It was time to remind her.

"Oh, this isn't my first formal, it's just the first where I had to get ready on my own. My mother made sure I had no less than five people working to make me the perfect China Doll. I'm sure you've seen some pictures in the Daily Prophet before." I stood up, holding my book under my arm. "But you're probably right, we should get started on this. After all, we have to look our bests for our...dates." I headed up the stairs to our dormitories without even bothering to check if they were following. I knew they would. I just hope they didn't notice the hitch in my voice on the word date. I guess I hadn't accepted my position as trophy date after all. Oh well, I doubted Draco would notice.

I went to my trunk and pulled out the dress robes my parents had purchased this year for me. It as a rich forest green with silver trims. They weren't just the House colors of Slytherin, they were the colors that looked the best on me. It was sleeveless, and had a low scooped neckline. It was the finest satin as well. I was going to be the best looking girl at the Ball, but the one person I wanted to notice would only have his eyes on the freckled face, ginger haired third year Gryffindor. I think I could go walk nude in front of him, and Draco still would not notice me, or else he would offer his robe so I wouldn't catch cold.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. I was Draco's friend, and that was all I was going to be, and I should have been happy for that. I mean, he trusted me with his secret and not his best mate, Blaise. That should have counted for something, shouldn't it? I should have been content; so why did I feel so empty? Tracy pulled me out of my thoughts, "Do you think Blaise will like this hair-do?"

I looked over at her, and tried not to laugh at her. She had wound her hair up in Serpentine bands, which turned each braid into a writhing snake. She looked more like a Medusa in training than a Fourth Year preparing for a dance. Deciding not to let her embarrass herself, I pointed out that maybe she should use a few less Serpentine bands. I didn't think Daphne needed any help, and since my rebuke in the Common Room, she had been ignoring me. Well, ignoring might not be the right word. It's more that she was afraid of what other insults I could throw her way.

All in all, the girls were right, and it was a good thing we started when we did, because we finished getting ready right before we were to meet our dates in the Common Room. I did get done a little sooner than Tracy and Daphne, since my hair is so much shorter than theirs, and all I had to do was clip in a few enchanted butterfly clips. When the other two were ready, we headed out the door, and down the stairs, where the boys looked quite dapper in their fine dress robes.

And as I guessed, all eyes were on me. Well, if you're going to do something, you might as well do it right. I grinned as Draco met me halfway and offered his arm, which I took. I wasn't just boasting when I said I had been doing this for years. He walked me down the stairs, as Theodore and Blaise followed suit and went for Daphne and Tracy. "Well, boys," Draco called over his shoulder, "we're definitely the luckiest boys at the Ball. We have the three most beautiful girls hanging on our arms."

My heart lurched again as I knew he wasn't really talking about me. He was talking about who he would be leaving the ball with, not who he was walking in with. It took all of my nerve not to run back into the dormitory and lock the door. Why was I embarrassing myself like this? Once everyone realised who Draco was spending all his time with, I would be the laughing stock. His trophy date so that he could meet up with his love. It would be the ultimate humiliation. So why was I, Pansy Parkinson, eleventh generation Slytherin, why was I putting up with this? Because it didn't matter that he didn't love me the way I love him. I would have gone to the ends of the Earth for Draco Malfoy, and everyone but him knew it.


	2. The Chair

The Yule Ball had to be the worst social function I'd had the opportunity to attend since I turned eleven and my parents introduced me formally into the Wizarding World. Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley chickened out on the whole letting the whole school knowing they were an item...thing. That didn't stop them from abandoning Longbottom and me to sneak out to the grounds. It wasn't long after I sat down at one of the tables that the whispers started. By the next morning, I would be known as Pansy Parkinson, the girl who Draco left for a blood traitor.

Well, at least the Slytherins would say that. I doubted any of the Hufflepuffs would say that, they were all so nice. The Gryffindors would probably would think I deserved it, if they didn't scorn Ginny for dating the "enemy". The Ravenclaws, well, I didn't really know any of them, so I couldn't say what they would have said. I placed my head on my palm with a sigh, and watched the other students dance the night away. Well, at least I took some solace in the fact that it looked like Potter and his friend Ron Weasley were as miserable as I was.

I watched enviously as Granger and Krum danced to their fifth song when I heard someone clear their throat near my left shoulder. I looked up and saw that it was Longbottom. "I hope you don't mind if I sit here," he said, studying his feet as if they were the most interesting thing there was in the world, "seeing as I was sitting here first."

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled, standing up. "Happy Christmas, Longbottom." I didn't know why I extended this to him. Up until that fateful moment, I had never given him anything but disdain and misery because of his seemingly incapability to cast even the simplest of spells. Maybe it had to do with the fact that at that moment in time we were both completely miserable for the exact same reason. It's not easy to be in love with someone who didn't love you back.

I had just decided I would be better off heading back to the dormitories when Longbottom spoke up again. "If you want, that chair's not taken. You can sit there, if you like." He was motioning to the chair across from him. I was a bit suspicious, but I sat down. I must have looked it, because he quickly said, "It's just, well, my gran always said that misery loves company, and I think we might be the most miserable of the school."

"What about Potter and Weasley? They seem pretty miserable. Why volunteer to join a Slytherin in misery when your fellow Gryffindors suffer just as much?" It was a valid question. I couldn't understand why he wanted to sit with me instead of the people who had been on his side and defended him against me and the other Slytherins. He muttered something unintelligible under his breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

"Well, if I went over to join Ron and Harry, sooner or later they're going to ask where Ginny is, and well, would you want to be the one to explain to her brother that she ran off with Malfoy?"

"Good point," I said. "Okay, Longbottom--"

"Please call me Neville. I always feel like I'm in trouble when somebody calls me Longbottom."

"All right, Neville. I still have to wonder, why me?"

He pondered my question for a few moments, and then replied, "well, who else in all the school is going through the exact same thing that I am? Who else in all the school has been pining for someone who has eyes only for someone else?"

I blushed a little. I knew was pretty obvious when it came to Draco, but I still hated being called out on it. "I'm pretty transparent, aren't I?"

He laughed. "Only about as transparent as I am when it comes to Ginny. So, I have to ask, if you can tell, how long as Draco and Ginny been together?"

"Honestly? I think it was sometime during incident with all that weird stuff and petrification going on Second Year. She was really disturbed about something, and she couldn't talk to her brothers or any of the Gryffindors, apparently. So somehow she and Draco started talking, and it led to this secret thing. I've known about it since the beginning. Not even Zambini knows about those two, and Draco and Zambini are supposed to be best mates."

"I think it's the same thing with Ginny and Hermione. Those two are nigh on inseparable, and yet I don't think Hermione has a clue." He shook his head, and sighed. "Well, at least two people are breaking down the barriers between our houses."

I just shrugged. I did agree with him on that. It seemed rather silly that just because we were sorted into different Houses that we wouldn't associate with others. Not that I was perfect in that aspect. I as rather well known for my hatred of anything that wasn't Slytherin. Even my old friend Parvati and I haven't really spoken since our first year. So I remained silent, watching once again as Granger and Krum danced. I glowered as another slow song came on, and I realised once again I would not be dancing. I twirled my finger around the edge of an empty goblet, trying not to watch. I didn't even bother trying to look semi-amused, as I would have if this had been a function my parents were hosting. They weren't there, and I didn't have to pretend to enjoy myself, so I didn't. "I never want to attend another school dance again," I muttered aloud, not realising I had even spoken.

Neville looked over at me. "They're not as much fun when your date leaves you for someone else, are they?" He looked at me, and listened as the Wyrd Sisters started up another slow song. He stood up, and turned to me. "Would you-would you like to dance with me Pansy?"

I looked up at him, a little shock. "What? Me? Dance with you?" It sounded pretentious, I knew and I was mentally kicking myself. Neville had offered me one way of saving face, and I was blowing it even as I had just thought it was silly to harbor such pretentions.

Neville, to his credit, didn't slink off embarrassed like he might have any other time. That day, he just leaned in closer with a smile on his face and said, "the school is already talking about Draco and Ginny having wandered off, seemingly together. Now, let's really give them something to talk about. You and I might know the truth, but it couldn't hurt either of us to have the school guessing a bit. It'll just be one dance. After that, we can go our separate ways."

His hand was still offered to me. I didn't take my eyes off his kind face as I took the hand and let him lead me to the dance floor. I was still a little hesitant as we walked onto the dance floor and he began to lead, because Neville was not known for his grace and elegance in movement. It didn't take long for me to realise that my fears in his movements was unfounded. While in day to day activities he may have been clumsy and forgetful, when it came go dancing, he was a true Débutante. I couldn't help but smile as we waltzed, and the whispers around us reached our ears. He was right, the talk had gone from Ginny and Draco to Neville and myself. Neville smiled back at me and he said something I didn't quite expect, "You know, this hatred between the Houses is silly. If it didn't exist, I think we would have been friends long ago."

"My friend?" I was confused. "Neville, since we've started at Hogwarts, I've given you nothing but grief for all of your mistakes you've made in every class we've had together. In fact, the only I don't think I ever hounded you about your inability is Herbology, and that's because you're better at it than Granger is."

He lifted me off my feet and twirled me before setting me down. "But let me ask you this, Pansy. If I had been in Slytherin, just the way I am now, would you have still given me grief, or would you have worked with me to improve my talents, and used me to help you in Herbology?"

I was about to answer of course I would have treated the same, but I stopped, and thought about it as one song ended and another began. Neither of us stopped dancing as I mulled over his question. I mean, Crabbe and Goyle were not much more talented than Neville was, and yet I did not treat them with the disdain that I had until that moment I held toward Neville. "You're right, I probably would not have treated you the way that I have. That doesn't mean we would have been friend, though."

He didn't say anything, he just smiled at me as we danced. I'm not sure how long we danced, but it was far more than one or two songs. By the time we were too tired to dance anymore, the Great Hall had cleared out significantly and we were some of the last people left. Draco and Ginny had sneaked back into the dance sometime after Potter and Weasley had left. Draco and Ginny both gave us a strange look but to our credit, we simply smiled and waved as we headed out the door. I looked up at Neville as we said goodnight. "Thank you," I said.

"For what?"

"Well," I said, a slight blush in my cheeks, "for everything. You offered me a seat when you could have let me walk away. You talked with me when everyone else was whispering about me. You danced with me and changed my mind about a lot of things. And for that, I thank you."

"Oh, that," It seemed it was his turned to blush, "Well, you're welcome and all, but I suppose I should tell you the truth. That seat you were in? It wasn't mine. I just couldn't think of any other way to approach you. Good night." He turned and headed toward the Gryffindor tower, leaving me to standing there, a bit flustered.


End file.
